Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
