KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
