He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize