i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can text with my tongue
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
