First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
