The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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