Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
