Well douche your snatch and let's go!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
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