i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
