apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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