I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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