This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
