did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
