Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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