Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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