the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
