Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
