Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
