Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The struggles of a small town man whore
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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