I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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