dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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