Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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