On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Someone came in the potted fern
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
