sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
