Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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