shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
