god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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