it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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