I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
