Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
