wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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