I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
