i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
