What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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