Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
