life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
