sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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