apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
