absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
