Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
