So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I will be naked everywhere
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
