the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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