I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
