Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
