I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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