how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize