I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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