im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i think i just lost a toe
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
