george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
