my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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