remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
smell my finger.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
