FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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