Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize