Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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