are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
